Tales from the FS Office

My new applicant we’ll call him Mr. Suzuki.

As soon as we sit down to start the interview Mr. Suzuki ask “When we finish this here, you wanna come take a ride on my bike”

As we’re going through the application, he’s constantly trying to flirt, and i’m ignoring the shit out him until…..

Me: Are you currently paying child support?

Mr. Suzuki: Yea, I’m paying for 2 of my kids.

Me: Oh! 2 of them?! Well how many kids do you have?

Mr. Suzuki: Eleven

ME: Excuse me?! I could’ve sworn you said ELEVEN. How many do you have?

Mr. Suzuki: I have 11 kids.

Me: GET OUT!! You must have a few sets of twins?

Mr. Suzuki: Nah, no twins

Me: Well damn! (by this time, i’ve forgotten all about the rest of the application and have crossed my legs and positioned myself to hear all the dirt).
So please tell me how this works out?

MR. Suzuki: well I my 1st gf she got pregnant when I was 19. We broke up. Then I got married. And my wife she had 4. But while I was married I had a girlfriend. And she had 4 for me. So then me and my wife divorced and the girlfriend didn’t want nothing to do with me. So then I starting dating this other chic we got married when she got pregnant. So that makes…. uh.. 10.. then we split up and my new girlfriend she just had Number 11.

ME: WOW!!!!! So some of your kids are the same age and everything, huh?

Mr. Suzuki:Yep (Sticking out his chest in PRIDE)

ME: You was messing with some dumb ass broads, shoot you’re not even cute!

Mr. Suzuki: Dang… how you just gon tell me that (he’s laughing)

(by this time I’ve finised the application, and we’re walking out)

Me: Because you’re not. You have a good day

Mr. Suzuki: So you not gon take a ride with me?

ME: EWWWW NO!!!! (insert vomit face)


  1. Im hecka mad you told that dude he was ugly dead in his face lmaooo I was dyin reading this whole post.

  2. Girl, that is hilarious!!! I have those same kind of stories all the time. I work in an STD clinic at at a health department. Let me just people are a trip!!! And they don’t even know it!!!

  3. @ Ms. Lee… I know that’s right! And I’m so not trying to even out his dozen! :O

    Adrienne… that’s what I was doing! exactly!

    ebz… Not like it hurt his feelings… Did you not see he was still trying to give me a ride! He prolly thought I was playing hard to get! lol

    mrspurls… YAY!!! New blog reader whoohooo!
    Oh I am soo sure your stories are WILD! And you are soo right… They have NO clue.

  4. WTH?!!! That’s some FUNNY stuff right thurr rofl!!! I’m GLAD you told his tail he wasn’t cute lol. I love you for it!! You in the foodstamp office and you got 11 chilrun. A MESS!!!!

  5. @ MahoganyB… A HOT MESS is more like it!

    @ Dulcedosa… Sad thing is, I don’t think I hurt his feelings..Not one bit. thx for the comment

    @ Bri… Unfortunately, MO isn’t exempt from the madness. 🙂

  6. Wait…he is at the FS office trying to mack? Out of order! And *smh* at the 11 Kids. He better sell that Suzuki and take the bus. There is nothing worse than a broke down fugly wanna be pimp. Ewww is right!

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