Tales from the Food Stamp Office

I was paged for an application at 4:30 today. They stop letting people in at 4:45. See the problem?

Well that’s not all…

My applicant is not only applying for Food Stamps. He wants to apply for Medicaid as well. That application alone can take 30 minutes.

but that’s not it….

He lives in the county, which means I have to do a bunch of shyt just to START on his application.

Soooo… what I do is print the disability questionaire and medical release forms and tell them (he was there with his wife) “one of yall fill these out and sign/date them, the other answer my questions”.

Sounds like a plan right?! WRONG

Dumb ass man don’t wanna answer anything, just purposely being evasive. BITCH

Dumb ass wife faketending(pretending) like she don’t know the fuking answers either. BITCH!

So I pull enough teeth finish the food stamp application, pend it for verification (because OF COURSE they didnt bring what they needed). Get the interview summary and let Dumbass #1 fill it out. Finish explaining that until I won’t be his case worker b.c he lives in the county and his case has to be in the county, blah blah get a job you worthless piece of shit, blah blah, etc…. Put the Food stamp stuff to the side.

Go to app the medicaid (it’s in another program) FUCK! system is down. DAMMIT!! So I’m explaining to dumbass 1 & 2. That I will app it tomorrow. Let me just make sure you completed the forms correctly (you know the forms i gave them before i started doing ANYFUKINGTHING).

Can SOMEONE ANYONE puh-lease tell me why DAFUK those SIMPLE BYTCHES had not filled out the FUKING questionaire. Why is it 5:15. Why is it time for me to get DAFUK off!


So I’m like “I GAVE this to you when we FIRST started b/c it HAS to be completed. It is NOT optional. ANNNNNNND since yall came her 15 minutes BEFORE the office closed I wanted to make this go as quickly as possible”

They are sitting there and he’s like well “baby fill it out” and she’s like ” wellll”
LOOKING FUKING STOOPID and he says to her “FILL IT OUT” and she starts writing.

Well lo and be-fuking-hold… the reason for the hesitation…

he has HIV

GTFOH!!! DUDE!!!! At this office I’ve seen it all! HOW DAHELL you want to be fuking shame!? But want assistance?!

You’re ass was QUICK to say you just got out of jail (like it’s a damn badge of honor) when I asked your PUNKASS to register to vote. But wanna bytch up when it comes time to EXPLAIN your damn disability that YOU want medicaid for.

Had they not been such assholes, and came in with their verification, AND at a decent fuking time…. I might have told his ass it was a waste of time, b/c HIV doesn’t count as a disability. FUCKHEAD!

*** Someone remind me to post about the tail-end of a fight I walked up on in the lobby***


  1. Dumb Asses. I wouldn’t have filled out jack shit for his ass. What is wrong with women? He probably can’t read or write.

  2. OOOO you are a horrible person!! j/k but i see why ya’ll be having attitudes with folk.
    i remember when i had to go to get food stamps back when i was in school with a baby… DAMN you would have thought i was taking food outta that womens refrigerator!
    and then when i filed for child support OMG i could have slapped that bitch. she act like i was filing it on her!

  3. I see your problem… you need to work for the state of Nebraska. All of our awesome offices close at 4:30, sometimes 4, so you pretty much can’t do anything past 3:30 here. See it’s just a matter of picking the state with the earlier closing hours. 🙂

    I’m kidding, I totally do not understand how you have the patience to deal with these people!!

  4. Whenever I come and read about your job I realize that I work in a wonderful disneyworld kinda place! Thanks for righting my world! *LOL*

  5. It’s never a dull moment with your work is it? LOL! I can’t stop laughing right now. Edgar is looking at me like what the heck is wrong with you and give me a potato chip! LOL!

    Thanks for the story and don’t forget to update us on the fight in the lobby!

  6. ohhhh you were mad huh,lol

    okay girlie, calm down!!!

    say it with me woooo saaaaaa

    come on lets say it together

    wooooooooo saaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa

    too late to be shame when you have the “Package”,lol

    okay let me stop laughing

  7. I just don’t understand why people can’t follow directions. The shit ain’t hard. DAYHUM!! So, tell me about the fistacuffs on the way out.

  8. REMINDER: Post about the fight… a friend-girl of mines works at our DHS office and tells me all kinds of people she enocunters and the less she works with.

  9. Uhhh…I ain’t all there ma’self ma’am…
    Does this make me eligible??


  10. Wow…wow.

    I wonder if she married before he went to jail, after he got out, or while he was on lockdown…

    you have such good patience.

  11. Girl wait!! HIV as a disability??!! Somebody done lied to them and probably didn’t even know it.

    Mkay, I’m goin to read about the fight. lol This is too good.

    I’m co-signing what another poster said. You can NEVER quit this job! lol lol

  12. Naw girl! HIV ain’t no disability unless he was disabled and held down when he got it. I know I’m bad but where he get it from? Da needle or Da NEEDLE??

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