you call ME dumb…

On the phone with a client that I saw this morning. I’d told him I needed his last 2 paycheck stubs and given him a form to have his employer complete if he couldn’t find them.

Dummy: ms. Johnson, I saw you early and I have my last check stub it’s from november.
Me: I thought you were still employed. That’s what you said this morning
D: I am but we’re on holiday break

*sigh* never known a security company to close for holiday break

Me: well I’ll need a statememt from the job saying that you’re still employed but did not receive any income b/c of the holiday break

I hear some talking in the background, then some chicken head gets on the phone.

CH: if he didn’t work he ain’t gon have no checks. This just stupid.

Me: *deep sigh* ms. I’ve told him what I needed.
CH: well he got kids he need to feed. Blah blah blah *I tuned her out and checked twitter and then I heard* dumb ass

Me: excuse me, what did you just say?

CH: you heard me. Ole dumb ass blah blah

*runs a birth match on my clients son, finds mother, accesses her case information*

Me: oh well seeing how you have 4 babies with 4 different last names a 9th grade education and haven’t had a single job THIS year. I’m going to go out on a limb and say I’m not the only dumb ass on the phone

*Phone drops* my client say hello

Me: I’m still here. Now do you understand what I need from you?
D: yes
Me: okay, soon as you get it in, I’ll finish your case.
D: ok


  1. Yeah, that does sound fishy. Well, unless he’s security at an auto plant then chances are he’s not laid off he’s fired. LOL. Find out who his company provides security floor and you can get a cut when they get robbed.

    You put her in her place. I still like the classic standby, “Your mama!” If I didn’t hear stories like that at least once a week I wouldn’t believe it. How are you going to be disrespectful to someone who’s help and favor you need? Him, her, and the kid would be at home hungry as hell waiting for me to lift a finger.

  2. Oh your job is ALWAYS good for a laugh! It makes mine just boring in comparison!

    Hope you had a very Merry Christmas!

  3. RIMSHOT!!!

    Girl you go hard! Bwahahahahahahahaha! Can’t say that I blame you though. How you gonna call someone out of their name when you need their help? That shit is truly baffling.

  4. LMAO – game set match. lol

    Man I wish I could say stuff like that to my customers when they say ignorant shit to me. I would let em have it.

  5. Girl, sometimes, you have to get on dumbasses’ levels in order for them to understand. I deal with this ALL the time. You cain’t be nice to some folk.

  6. LOVE IT! She couldn’t even say anything. I guess you put her in her place huh? That is hilarious.

    Happy New Year!!!!

  7. I just so happen to run into your blog (through adrienne’s) and your office stories crack me the hell up!! Being that I’m a work horse for nyc hra I have experienced more than my share of the foolishness so I TOTALLY GET IT!! You’re just in the office…….imagine having to go to these peoples houses in the projects on there turf to verify what they told the folks in the center. Jokes for days. Keep em comin!!

Leave a Reply

%d bloggers like this: