This morning I got an invite to a birthday party at one of the clubs here, it’s a 25 and up club. The invite was for ian and i. So I forwarded him the text and he ignored it. I talked to him later and he starts talking about going to dinner. So I asked him did he not want to go the party. He says “you know you dont have to go to everything youre invited to”. WTF I cant tell you the last time i’ve been a party/club/out drinking/dancing solo OR with him. I was invited to a launch party tuesday and asked him if he wanted to go he said no, got a headache and went got in the bed. I ended up not going.
I told him this morning, SOMETIMES i want to do more that go to the movies, go out to eat, and go shopping. Its not like stl is overflowing with ish to do. And while i comfortable enough to do some things by myself, going to a party where i only know ONE person (the host) is not something i’m comfortable with. I dont have many friends/associates here and those that i do have, have a penchant for flaking out at the last minute. He said something about it being a young teenybopper crowd. The party is for a 30 y/o. And SO WHAT if is a younger crowd, when you dont have a crowd of your own to be in, sometimes ANY crowd will do. I didnt say we had to stay out all night, i didnt say we had to dance, or drink. We can still do dinner before or after. I’m a very social person and i like being WITH people who are having fun. i’m frustrated. i’m lonely. and ish like this makes me wish i was home or at least in a city where i knew a few people who didn’t mind going out and having a good time.
I’ve resorted to asking a few of my coworkers that I BARELY associate with if they had plans and if they would like to come. I’m frustrated… VERY frustrated.. like bout to cry frustrated…
When I get home i’m going to find the nicest piece of clothing i possess, shower and lotion up. And i’m going SOMEWHERE where people under 3′ are not allowed… SOLO if I have to