Life

welcome to womanhood *bleh*

One of my friends (not sure if she wants yall to know lol) daughters started her cycle today. My friend called SCREAMING (embarrassing the poor child) to tell me the news. Her baby isn’t a baby anymore 🙁 lol Anywhoo after I got off the phone with her, my “woman” day came rushing back.

The year was 1991, Saturday, July 14th to be exact.

I woke up in the middle of the night terrified that I’d pissed on myself, only to find that I was becoming a “woman” *eyeroll*. I woke my momma up and told her that I’d started my period, she told me where the pads were, i cleaned myself/bed and went back to sleep.

The next day it was a Sunday. Not just ANY Sunday. This Sunday was my 11th birthday and it was also Communion Sunday. Communion Sunday in a baptist church meant all-white. White dress, white stocking/socks, white shoes, and a damn chapel cap. I got up got dressed, my momma sent me to church with a pad in my purse. I’d read enough books and pamphlets, I knew what was happening with my body. So off to church I went.

Sat through Sunday School, announcements, scripture reading, prayer, testimony, A & B selection, long winded as sermon, selection from the choir, prayer, alter call, offering, prayer, passing of the communion trays, hymn before you take communion, “eat of body…drink of my blood”, choir singing aaaaaaaaMEN, prayer, more announcements and FINALLY closing prayer.

I sat through almost 4 1/2 hrs of church, in my white dress.

*sigh* Yall When I stood up, the woman behind me, YANKED me back down!! I turned around with AT-TIT-TUDE, how DARE she pull on ME like that?! Instead of getting smart (i am in church) I rolled my eyes and jumped up real quick and stared her down, then I heard… EWWWWWWW WHAT IS THAT?!

I turned around and my church “friends” were either laughing and pointing or dry heaving in disgust.

An usher (the mean one) came and snatched me and dragged me to the back of the church and there I saw it… BLOOD, deep crimson red blood all over the back of my snow white dress.

I BAWLED!

How embarrassing?!

The usher gave me an old table cloth  to wrap around my waist so I wouldn’t stain the car seats. When I made it to my grandma (we always went there after church). My momma runs up giggling and shit (totally ignoring my tear streaked face and scowl) and throws her arm around me and announces to EVERY DAMN BODY (keep in mind sunday after church everybody went to my grandma’s house and my grandma has 11 kids. And it was an impromptu b-day party for me) that “her baby is NOT a baby anymore and she got her 1st period the day before her birthday”.

If I could have melted into a puddle of goo I would have… instead I burst into tears and took off running into the house, Where I locked myself in the bathroom and DIED of embarrassment.

While I dying, one of my cousins filled my momma in on the SCARLET dress situation. She and my grandma and a few nosey ass cousins came and interrupted my deathbed experience. I let them in (even though I could have stayed in the bathroom ALLLLLL day) they helped me clean myself and my dress, and convinced me that no one would make fun of me. (i’m sure they must have promised them fire and brimstone if they teased me)

I eventually came out, and no one teased me. I eventually went on to enjoy the rest of my Birthday. But please trust and know. I was in the bathroom like clockwork changing those damn pads!!

To this day, you will not catch me in white when my period is down. And I STILL change my pads like clockwork. Overnight my ass… you’ll never catch me surfing the crimsontide again.

I’m sure not too many people have a “womanhood” story to stop that ish!

22 thoughts on “welcome to womanhood *bleh*

  1. GIRL WOW. I was going to the 6th grade on a bus on the way to WHITE WATER! LOL my aunt had to put a tampon on FOR ME so I could swim lol. I thought that was bad but umm NERP I was wrong lol.

  2. Wow! You win the prize. That’s wasn’t a good experience. You were very young too when you got your period.

    It’s too bad your friend decided to announce to the world her daughter got her period. I feel that’s personal. Hopefully the kid won’t be scarred by the recollection.

    You sure were.

    {{{{{Cyberhugs}}}}}}

  3. uh no… you got that one all by yourself!!! i was 13 when mine started one morning when i was going to the bathroom… and it still does. it might catch me off guard sometimes but for the most part it comes when i go potty…. she likes me… i hate her but she likes me!
    now i had to deal with mine on my own but it was the weekend and we weren’t going anywhere but your mama was wrong for sending you to church in a white dress on the first day of you first period with ONE pad!! good lawd!

  4. I am so sorry, but that is so damn funny!!! Thank God for sex education classes because my mother sure did not talk to me about it and I figured the shit out on my own, hell I was in the 7th grade. Only problem I did have though, was my mother did think it was a badge of honor and she told EVERY ONE even though I told her not to. Every where I went – aunt, cousins, any female my mother knew wanted to tell me their damn story. It was so irritating, and until this day I dont tell her shit that I dont want repeated because I know she will tell it.

    When my daughter got hers, she was better prepared then me. We already bought the supplies for when it may happen. The person that had the hardest time was her damn father. Geez

  5. Wow, that was one *interesting* first step in womanhood experience! Mine was really uneventful, and I actually had breasts before I had my period.

    I’m sure it must be scary for mothers to see their first daughter getting their period so I understand why your friend was screaming. 🙂

  6. My first experience was uneventful. Nothing spectacular happened at all. It happened the summer before 6th grade and I dread that stupid visitor every month now.

    You should read this book, I got from a friend called: My Little Red Book by Rachel Kauder Nalebuff.
    It’s about women from all over the world and their first womanhood experience. Some are funny, some are sad. But it’s a good read to me.

  7. I thought my story was bad. My 1st visit happened on a Sunday. My aunt was the Sunday school teacher. Today’s lesson..woman with the issue of blood. I was VERY uncomfortable with the subject. She must’ve read my mind. Auntie Ethel Mae (age 59) says, “don’t worry, u won’t bleed that long chere.”Congregation says, “amen”. Funny as hell now, then..I could’ve just died!

  8. Oh my gosh! That is so horrible. I’m glad it didn’t completely ruin your b-day. I know it’s right around the corner for my daughter and I just PRAY that hers comes in the middle of the night and not in the middle of a school day or while she’s out and about. A

    Ok, all this talk is making my stomach cramp.

  9. I lived alone with my dad and was afraid to tell him what happened. I called my mom on the phone and she told me she’d left some pads in the closet for me.

    Oh yeah, then she told me, “you know you can get pregnant now.” I was 12. That’s the most we’ve ever talked about sex.

  10. I remember when I first started like it was yesterday. I was so shame, I didn’t tell my mother that first day. I woke up one early Sunday morning with red in my panties. I washed out my panties in the sink and stuffed tissue in my panties. Put my wet panties in the bottom of the clothes hamper in the laundry room. I finally told her that night when I thought I was about to die b/c my stomach was hurting so bad. The next day, she didn’t want me to go to school so I stayed at my grandmother’s house. And she told everybody she talked to that day. “Yeah, I got T today. She started her period yesterday so she didn’t go to school”. I was so shame. That day I vowed not to do my daughter like that by telling everybody.

  11. Yeah your mom was dead wrong for that. Even a clueless guy would’ve put two and two together and either let you stay home or not do the all white.

    I’m sure I’m going to regret this as things period related generally gross me out but I’m going to ask anyway. Knowing that blood and white clothes don’t mix how come 99.99% of the women I know wear the standard white panties during their cycle? Sure you don’t plan on anyone seeing it or wearing them outside of that week but wouldn’t a darker color hide any accidents a bit better? Why I’ve never asked anyone that before is beyond me.

    Now where can I find something to gouge out my eyes? LOL.

  12. You are freaking hilarious the way you tell a story. Damn, I would’ve been embarrassed, even the time I had an accident in 8th grade doesn’t top yours. Wow! On your birthday, just wow! LOL I didn’t know that a girl getting her 1st period was an announcement that needed to be made – thank God, my mom didn’t do that to me. LOL

  13. Po thang! You definitely get the prize for this one. I’m still a bit leery about wearing white on my cycle.

    I got mine on my 9th birthday. I was one of those kids who knew too much, but got all the details mixed up. I thought if you had your period, you were pregnant. LOL! Never mind the fact that I wasn’t doing anything to become pregnant. I swore that’s what having my period meant, so I hid it for a few days. When my Mom noticed her womanly supplies dwindling she approached me and I boohooed. To her credit, she didn’t laugh too hard when I confessed.

    @Freaky: I don’t wear white underwear. EVER! LOL! I have a special dark-colored, comfy set I wear once Aunt Flo comes for a visit.

  14. Funny this should be the topic of your post when it’s a conversation I juuuuuust had with a friend yesterday afternoon.

    Guess I must’a been a late bird cuz I swear I was around 14 @ the time I was “welcomed into womanhood”.

  15. Wow…fortunately for me, it was nothing that dramatic…traumatizing, but that’s only because my mother was at work and I had to reveal the news to my father.

  16. my mom (the nurse) was too embarrassed to tell me anything about my period but i was a reader so i already knew everything and had bought my own pads so i was prepared. i was different with my daughter – i talked about it so much until she finally told me to stop, lol!

  17. Mine was nowhere near as traumatic as yours, but it was devastating all the same. I “became a woman” during the summer of ’94. We were set to leave for our annual ‘girls only’ trip. That year we settled on Tampa and a trip to Busch Gardens. I woke up thinking I had to pee early that Friday morning only to realize that bitch Aunt Flo had finally made her debut. So there would be no swimming in the hotel pool (don’t laugh, my granny told me we weren’t supposed to swim during that time, LOL). No prancing around thinking I was cute, cuz I felt like I was wearing a diaper. Most of all I had to spend the entire trip horrified of the thought that everytime I sat down I’d soak thru the pad…….AUGH!!

  18. OMG! Noooooooooooo!! How awful!!

    I thought I had diarrhea the first time my Aunt Flow came to visit me. Cramps came first then the flow. I went to the nurses office to have them call my mom so I could go home. They gave me Pepto Bismol pills and everything! LMAO!!! Soon after I got home red rum came. Ewwwwww. I haven’t cramped that bad since….thank goodness!!!

  19. I was nine and totally unknowledgeable that such things even occured. Went to the bathroom and thought I must have passed gas that wasn’t just gas so I changed my underwear and when it happened a second time I told my mom I thought I had a stomach problem but didn’t feel sick. She assessed the situation and told me what was happening. . . on that end. A month or so later I overhead a conversation about checking for lumps in your breast and if you had one you must have breast cancer. I checked and low and behold I thought I must have breast cancer! I told my teacher I wouldn’t be back in school the next day because I was going to die. Believe me, I made sure my daughter understood about bodily changes in time to ward off the confusion and fear I went through.

Leave a Reply